Interview Questions and Answers  - Raewyn Weller

1    What is the first thing you would advise someone wanting clarity in their life?

The first thing is to define what you really love doing, (not what others think you should be doing) what it is that you really want to do? Ask yourself – When was I the happiest in my life? What was I doing? Follow your passion.

Believe in yourself and your abilities, believe that you can have, do and be whatever you want and start your journey towards it. When you follow your passions and have the courage to start doing it your world will change for the good.

Once you have made a decision start setting goals to achieve what you desire, work towards it, even if the first steps are baby steps, make a start.

If necessary find someone to help you through the process of defining what you want. Just remember that others – life coaches, mentor, friends can help guide you but you have to believe that you can have do or be and take the action towards it.

Your purpose in life is whatever you decide it will be. You have the power to choose.

2    Many say I’ve tried to change but I cannot stay on track, what would you say to that?

Your results to date are a reflection of your past thinking, it is no reflection of you potential. Your own mind is the only thing that you have total control over. You need to realise that and think how you are thinking. Most things that we do are habitual, to get new results we need to do something different. So make a decision to form some new habits to get new results. A burning desire, setting goals, and persistent, a determination to reach your goals are key to making permanent changes.

Remember though that if it is not working it is ok to stop and change direction. There is no point in flogging a dead horse. (Not that I agree with flogging live horses)

3    So are you saying that we are creatures of habit?

We certainly are. Unless we change our thinking we will continue to reap the same rewards, get the same results. I think it was Albert Einstein that said “only 2 % of us think, 3% think we think and the other 95% don’t think. Nearly every thing we do is habitual”.

Think about it – we get out of bed…… clean our teeth…… drive our car…….the same way every day, the majority of things we do we do habitually; we don’t even have to think about it. You weren’t thinking about your right foot until you read this were you?

4    How do we change our thinking?

First of all take note of who you are spending most of your time with. If you put yourself in the middle of the 5 people you spend most of your time with whether it be at work, home or play, that is a reflection of you. Life is like a mirror it reflects back what you put out there. If you are around people that are positive or negative you will become like them.

Once you make a shift and raise your vibrations and thinking you will find that you may want to spend less time with negative people and some of those may be your friends and work colleagues. If you have no choice but to spend time with them, chose not to take on board their lower energy and spend as little time as possible with them.

Join new clubs, gyms, seek people that will help you to learn and grow. Invest time with people that raise your vibrations.

5    I have heard you say that your thoughts create your results, can you please explain how?

For the purpose of this explanation let’s imagine our head has a line across it horizontally, dividing the top and bottom. We will call the upper section our conscious mind or thinking mind and the lower our subconscious or emotional mind.

All thoughts enter our conscious mind and it can accept, reject or neglect that thought. However if it accepts the thought it is passed onto our subconscious mind which takes it onboard and creates an emotion or feeling. Then that feeling turns into action which in turn creates a result.

So if we want to change our results we need to sift out, filter the thoughts that come into our conscious mind and reject them if they are not positive, or don’t serve us. In other words if we want different, better results we need to change our thinking.

6    Would you say that most of us worry about what others think?

Most certainly, we are conditioned to think and do things in certain ways from the day we are born, from parents, siblings, teachers, peers. We continually get bombarded with negative information from the media – TV, newspaper, radio, be careful what you take on board.

Fear of what others think has a major influence on our actions, it is one of the biggest blocks that people have. The silly thing about it is that we cannot control how others think so why worry about it so long as what you are doing is aligned with your values and you are not hurting anyone.

It is amasing that for the 1^st 2 years of our life we are encouraged to walk and talk and then the next 16 plus years we are told to sit down and shut up. How confusing is that?

As we get older we find ourselves doing and saying things that have been imposed onto us but are now becoming totally out of alignment with our current values. So it is a matter of defining what our true values are, which may change as we grow, and start making decisions and setting goals for ourselves. Don’t worry what others think so long as you can look in the mirror, be happy with and love the person you see.

7    So fear is a big block for people?

It certainly is, Napoleon Hills in his book ‘Think & Grow Rich’, says that there are 6 major fears that block people from doing things, moving on in life. They are the fear of Poverty, Criticism, ill health, loss of a loved one, old age and death.

This is a subject on its own which I could talk about for some time. Just remember we are all born and will die, most illness is due to stress so stop worrying and you won’t get sick. You can’t change what other people think, just lead by example and be comfortable with who you are and there is nothing to fear.

8    What would you say are the keys to a happy life?

Live a healthy lifestyle, as without your health you have nothing. Your health is directly related to how you live your life.

Eat from the rainbow, in other words foods of all colours, preferably raw fruits and veges, drink lots of water – a large % of your brain and body is water, if you are dehydrated you do not operate effectively.

Physical exercise and deep breathing are essential for healthy living. The more vitality you have the better you feel. Love life and be positive, it’s all about attitude if you say you can or can’t you are right.

Give your body the right fuel and maintenance. We tend to look after our car & property better than we do our bodies. Possessions can be replaced, your body takes a long time to regenerate if neglected. Your body is your castle.

Get the right amount of sleep, 6-8 hours, everyone is different but too much or too little sleep can be detrimental. Relax, take time to smell the roses. Get to know and love yourself.

Have fun, engross challenges and have a purpose. Believe that what you are doing matters, enjoy what you are doing. Do things that give you a little challenge and purpose. It helps your health and stress levels.

If you are looking forward to retirement you are in the wrong job. Your job should not feel like work, you should be in your flow.

Things will never make you happy long term if you are not happy within yourself

9            What advice would you give for relationships? I know you are a Marriage Celebrant.

 Get to know yourself, your family and friends, especially your partner. Love and accept who they are, don’t try to change them. Respect your differences. We are all different, we are all unique beings and you fell in love with your partner for who they are.

Ok we change as we grow, some couples grow apart and that’s ok. Just make sure you do something about it, either accept it and respect each other, communicate, don’t try to change each other. Be tolerant, learn how to live with the changes and put the spring back into your relationship or move on. Life is too short, live it.

Your relationship with yourself is really important – how you feel about yourself. If you don’t love and respect yourself how can you expect anyone else to……?

Family and relationships are the two biggest causes of stress, hence illness. Living in the past and worrying about the future. 99% of things that we worry about never happen.

10                How do personalities affect relationships?

Most people attract opposites, which will be good or a struggle. If you learn how to relate to and know how different personalities do things and think it can make a fantastic relationship as you compliment each other.

However it can also go the other way if we don’t learn to understand the differences, we tend to wonder why our partner doesn’t understand us or think as we do. This can be fatal for a relationship, we try to change the other person and it doesn’t work. You cannot change other people, they are who they are.

The same applies in a business, every business needs at least 3- 4 different types of personalities in it  to operate effectively, so people are doing what they like to do not what they have to do. Putting square pegs into round holes doesn’t work. To get an introverted person to do an extraverts job does not make good business sense.

For personal relationships I recommend the book “The 5 Love Languages” by Chris Chapman. It describes 5 different love languages which everyone is dominant in one, they are: – Gifts, affirmations, Acts of service, quality time and touching. If your love language is not filled by your partner and your love bucket is empty, your relationship will suffer.

11                Many people try to get their children to follow their career or a so called respected career. Would you agree?

This is sometimes another version of putting square pegs into round hole, they will not like it or excel. It is like sending a child to university when they are not scholastic or making them take a subject at College they have no interest in just because mum or dad like it. Don’t impose your likes and dislikes onto your children let them learn by their own experiences, mistakes, it is part of life’s journey.

Be there for them but don’t try to do it for them.

12                I hear you have the title of Self Esteem Queen in a book, what is the key to self esteem?

Yes I didn’t give it to myself, but I accept it. Self Esteem is something I didn’t have when I was younger. Once you begin to love and accept yourself as you are and not worry about what other people think you are on the path to a much better life, your self esteem rises. Your mind is a very powerful tool, when you can be aware of and control the thoughts in your mind you can turn your life around and live the life you want. We need to take control of our ANTS (Automatic Negative Thoughts) which are constantly invading our minds. You can accept reject or neglect any thought that enters your mind, we need to do a check up from the neck up often, to check on and control your thoughts. So stay positive and lift your self esteem?

13                Would you say Gratitude is important for a happy life?

To have an attitude of Gratitude is a starting point to a happy life. Many keep asking for more without thinking about and being grateful for what they have already. To be grateful for what you have got or what is coming to you will bring things to you faster.

My late Sister Jan has taught me to have an attitude of gratitude. If I have a sore foot I am grateful that I have a foot to be sore. If I don’t like what I am seeing, I say thank you for being able to see, there are many like Jan who are visually impaired. Actually many visually impaired people have better vision than many sited people.

To be grateful for the downs in your life allows you to know how it feels to be up.

To be grateful for the mistakes we have made allows us to learn the lessons we need to learn from them and for all of the good things be eternally grateful.

The more you say thank you the more you will receive.

Learn to forgive and forget, move on and enjoy life, it is too short to waste.

14                I have heard you talk about the generation train, please explain what you mean.

I read an article some time ago that said that there was a study done on children adopted into a family that had a certain genetic condition that had gone from generation to generation. The adopted children did not have the genetic condition in their natural heritage; however after they lived with the family for some time that contracted the condition. Interesting!!

They say if you live with someone long enough that you become like them. Many people presume that they will get diabetes, cancer, high blood pressure because it runs in the family. I say get off the generation train, because if you concentrate on or worry about something long enough you WILL get it.

Live healthy in body, mind and spirit and you will more that likely get off that train.

It is just like breeding a family of couch potatoes, unless you get off your butt and break the chain you will become one.

15                How hard is it to change a habit?

It depends on your desire and commitment to change. Stop fitting it, just lose the desire for it.

It is all a mind set, change channels. Start a new healthy habit.

Just like if you buy a new car or get a rental car the controls and functions may be different, it doesn’t take long to learn new habits and the more you start living a healthy life and enjoying what you do, the old habits will no longer be desirable. Stress will be gone and there will be no need for the old habit. ( 6 coffees /day, cigarettes, alcohol in excess etc….)

16                People would say you can’t stay positive all of the time, do you agree?

We all have emotions, it is good to have a cry, be sad, mad or glad when it is appropriate. However take note how long you allow yourself to stay in that emotion.

Especially if it is anger. 5 minutes is all you need to realise that it isn’t doing you any good and to turn it around. Ask yourself what you can learn from it. Don’t allow another person to make you feel angry, actually you can’t anyway, you have control of your mind, it is the only thing you have total control of.

If someone you love has passed on, it is ok to grieve for a time, but not forever. Be grateful for the time you had them in your life and if they were that important to you they will live on in your mind forever, remember the happy times with them. SMILE.

They wouldn’t want you to grieve forever. If they do then they weren’t a real friend. Life does go on and you are here to live it.

Stay positive and look for the good in every thing you have, do, experience and see.

17                How would you answer people who say I don’t have the time to do what I want?

Time is your most valuable asset and we all get the same 24 hour per day. It is how you spend those 24 hours that counts.

We all need sleep, to eat, play, relax, learn, stay fit and healthy and to earn a dollar.

I would encourage you to draw a circle and divide it into 8 sections with headings for the fore mentioned life requirements. Then on each line put 24 marks 1 for each hour of the day, then fill in each section how many hours you spend on an average day doing each. How are you spending your 24 hours per day? Are you spending or investing them?

If you want to live a healthy fun filled life you need to adjust your day to find the time to be healthy, fit and educate yourself to keep your brain active.  

Invest your time in yourself – your health, education and well being.

18                How about I don’t have the money?

If you think you don’t have you won’t have. Remember the saying if you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.

Take a look at where you are spending your $’s now. Are you saving and or investing or are they going straight down the drain?

Get advice from an expert or a coach if need be.

You need to invest money to make money

Invest your money in yourself – your health, your education and well being and it will grow and flow.

19                What would you say were the biggest blocks people have to making changes in their life?

Yourself, your thinking, your ANTS are your biggest blocks to change.

Fear – fear of change, failure, success, getting out of comfort zone, what others will think.

Follow your passion and get into the flow of life, stay positive, eat well, stay fit and you life will automatically change. You will attract all of the good that you need.

20                How do you make a difference in people’s lives?

Leading by example for others to follow.

Living a healthy, fun filled life following my passion.

My passion is helping people feel good about themselves, to realise that they can have, do and be what they want within their reason and their thinking. To dare to dream, reach for and follow their dreams.

By empowering others I empower myself.

Zen saying ; To know and not to do is not yet to know

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